Sunday, October 10, 2010

Losing my religion...part 2

It wasn't until mid-September that RCIA began again.  Over the course of the summer, Bobby and I had big plans to make it to church every Sunday (ok, more like I had big plans to drag him with me...but still).  Sadly, we always found something else to do and, though we started off strong going every week, by July it had dwindled down and we skipped the entire month of August so my quest for faith hadn't gotten very far when I was back in the saddle to decide if Catholicism was really it for me.

Now, one thing I forgot to mention in my last post was that at our first meeting back in May, they asked us to think about someone that we would want to be our sponsor through our religious journey.  Heather picked her husband and Lizzie was thinking about her mom, but I wasn't sure who I wanted to share that with.  I didn't feel like Bobby would take it seriously if I asked him to come with me to the meetings because I still don't feel comfortable talking about that stuff with him (and please don't take offense to that, if you're reading this).  I need someone who will take it seriously and understand why I have so many questions...so I haven't figured that part out yet.

Anyway, back to where this is all going...We had our first meeting back in mid-September and there were 3 new people going through the process with us.  It made me feel a little better and less like we were the center of attention, but I still wasn't in it for me.  It wasn't until this past week, when I picked my sister up to head to the church that it really hit me.  On our way up, Heather and I talked about why we were still skeptical of the whole thing.  It's great to know that I have her to go through the whole process with because there's no one who could understand my feelings about it better than my sister, who is starting at the exact same level as me.  We talked about how it's hard to follow something that doesn't have concrete evidence and we talked about how we're constantly looking for signs from something to let us know that there really is something for us to believe in...and then we got to class.

This week's class was about the different terms that we'd encounter and what everything meant.  We discussed the 4 stages of RCIA (pre-catechumenate, catechumenate, purification and enlightenment, mystagogy) and the different rites that we'll go through in each stage.  We discussed different common terms (Advent, Liturgical year, and triduum) and learned a little bit more about the process as a whole.  By the end of the night, I was feeling a little more connected and felt better on our drive home....and then the shocker of all shockers (and you'll probably find this incredibly cheesy but...) the signs began flying in.

Every day this week, since Heather and I had that conversation, I have encountered some type of sign...maybe they're just coincidences, but they're pretty freaky if you think about it.

  • Tuesday morning: Rachel's challenge assembly - Rachel Scott was the first person shot at Columbine in 1999.  The speaker talked about how Rachel knew that she was going to die young and had written an essay six weeks prior to the shootings about her codes of life and how she thought that if we could be compassionate and kind to just one person every day, that we'd start a chain reaction.  Two weeks after her death, a man from the other side of the country called up her father and explained how he was having reoccurring dreams of Rachel's eyes crying onto hollow ground and flowers sprouting up.  A week later, Mr. Scott was able to pick up Rachel's backpack from police evidence and found her last journal....on the very last page was a drawing that one of Rachel's teachers says she made a mere 20 minutes before the shootings of her eyes crying onto ground with a single rose sprouting up...it appeared that her teardrops were turning into blood drops as they reached the flower....there were 13 of them, the number of people killed that day.
  • Tuesday after RCIA: I got home around 9:30 and Bobby and I watched the episode of Glee that had aired at 8 but we dvr-ed....this week's episode was all about religion and faith.  I immediately text messaged my sister and got a chill.
  • Wednesday night: Bobby and I hung out on the couch watching Modern Family.  In this week's episode, Manny and Gloria want to go to church but Jay would rather go play golf....as they're arguing about it and Jay says that God doesn't matter, an earthquake hits....now yes, it's a little bizarre that 2 tv shows talked about religion this week....but more bizarre that neither are on the same network
  • Thursday morning:  As I'm driving up 23, I notice a rainbow in the distance....as I get closer to Kinnelon, the rainbow gets brighter and I notice that it's a full and complete arch right over the town....and there's another one next to it.
Now, these things might not seem like much...but I definitely see these as signs.

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