Friday, July 30, 2010

God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage

Last night Bobby and I drove down to Bayonne to meet with our priest.  We had to fill out a survey separately and get interviewed by the priest, basically so that he can get to know us better and have a better understanding of our relationship.  I was up first for the interview and it was your basic, you aren't already married, you're not being forced into this, you understand what a good catholic marriage means, yadda yadda yadda.  Then Deacon Bob asked about how Bobby and I met, how he proposed, why I want to marry him....easy peasy.


Then it was my turn to take the test.  It was about 120 questions....mainly about our finances once we are officially married, how our families feel about our marriage, and how we feel about each other.  Some of the questions were no brainers and others required a little more thinking...not because I was uncertain of how I felt, but because they were worded in such a way that you had to read the question multiple times before you knew what it was actually asking.  The test is pretty much an "agree", "disagree", or "uncertain".  Questions like "Pregnancy is currently affecting our marriage" and "Sometimes I am fearful of my future spouse" were easy DISAGREEs, but questions like "My future spouse and I expect little to no discontent in our marriage" made me go "hmm...."  If I answer AGREE then I'm saying that we think marriage is all fun and games which is not true but if I answer DISAGREE then it makes it sound like we are already unhappy most of the time....neither of which are true.


The kicker to the whole little survey/interview process is the fact that Bobby and I had to fill out the section about cohabitation.  We're planning on a Catholic ceremony and for those of you who are familiar with the Bible....we're breaking one of those Biblical laws by living together before marriage.  So Deacon Bob threw an idea out there....only for us to discuss and think about but no decision HAD to be made....to live apart for 6 months before our wedding.  Bobby and I have been living together for almost a year now and in the time we haven't spent a single night apart.  I don't think either of us would be able to get a decent night of sleep without the other laying there too.  So this is what we have to think about...can we manage being apart for that long or should we cut a deal of renewed chastity until the big day?

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